Does this mean you need to bribe your kids with candy or their favorite screen time so they'll do the work? Do you need to spend hours preparing learning activities that feature their favorite movie characters? Should you try to make each and every experience silly and game-like? Probably not. Keeping your child interested when learning at home might be easier than you think. Kids will find fun in their learning all on their own when they have these needs met:
Children learn best when they feel empowered and have a sense of control. When you let your child make frequent choices that matter to them (and don't matter to you), they will gain a feeling of ownership over their own learning. Empower your child by offering them frequent choices. Only offer choices you are okay with. (Will you use the red crayon or the blue crayon? Do you want to sit on the couch or at the table? Would you rather use the blank paper or the lined paper?) This feeling of control allows your child to relax and feel invested in their learning.
They feel accepted.
When children feel accepted and understood, they are more likely to take academic risks. These risks lead to mistakes, which helps kids learn. When your child feels stuck or frustrated, respond to them with real empathy. Show them that you understand their perspective, and remind them that their mistakes (and the big feelings they have when they make mistakes) are a normal part of learning. This feeling of acceptance helps your child to develop resilience. With practice, they will learn not to take their mistakes so seriously, which opens them up to enjoy their learning experiences.
They feel invited.
Many learning experiences don't need the glitter and glam we think they do for kids to find them fun. Often, kids just need to feel invited to explore and play. Honestly, young kids will usually find it fun if we find it fun. Here's how to make a learning activity feel inviting to your young child:
- Set out 1 to 3 activities, games, or objects. Make sure your child already knows how to play the game or complete the activity. Leave a paper for them to write what they notice or wonder about the object. Let them draw about their learning.
- Give them a short demonstration or tour of the space. This is when you can do a quick demonstration of how they could play or complete the activity. Present it as if it is optional (even if it is required) so they feel like they have control over the choice to participate. Show your own genuine excitement, wonder, and interest in these learning materials.
- Give them time and space to explore, play, and try new things. If they invite you or someone else to join them, follow their lead. Ask them questions. When they wonder about something, ask them how you both could find the answer.
They feel what you feel.
Kids are sponges and they notice everything. If you are bored by flash cards, they will usually feel bored, too. If you are frustrated by the board game, they are more likely to become frustrated by it, too. If you feel like playing with them is a waste of time, they will know you feel that way. This is why it is SO IMPORTANT to have self-control, self-awareness, and patience when working with your child. It has an ENORMOUS affect on your child's experience. Here are some things your child is picking up on:
- Your Attitude and Emotions - Try to have a positive attitude about learning, even while recognizing and accepting the big emotions it can bring up.
- Your Energy and Mindset - If you want your child to get pumped up, you need to get excited, too! If you want your child to calm down, you need to be calm. If you want them to have a healthy mindset about learning, you need to build up your own first.
- Your Words and Tone of Voice - The words you speak and tone you use matter. It's okay to be silent while you think of how you want to react.
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